3 common signs your partner may be cheating on you
An unfaithful husband, cheating wife, any kind of disloyal partner,
is an ugly prospect. And that feeling of being betrayed by someone we
thought we could trust more than anyone else is one of the worst.
People who discover their partners have been unfaithful to them go
through a hurricane of different emotions – anger, sadness, shame,
dejection, sometimes even relief. It’s a grieving process, not
of a person that’s died, but of a relationship and level of trust
that’s instantly disintegrated. In short, it sucks.
But before you can begin “grieve” that loss of trust, or
simply throw caution to the wind and ditch your partner for good, you
need to make absolutely sure your reaction will be 100% warranted. You
need to know without doubt whether your lover has, in fact, double-crossed
you by looking for, finding, and partaking in, an affair.
The only guaranteed way of knowing this, aside from finding damning
physical evidence or seeing the affair with your own eyes (both pretty
rare), is by hearing a confession straight from the horse’s mouth,
by communicating your suspicions with your partner and listening to
what they have to say – however heartbreaking or relieving their
response might be.
But before you take that big step, there are a few simpler and smaller
steps you can take to make the whole process, the whole “investigation”
and confrontation of your partner, easier and more factually accurate.
The first thing you should do is look for some of the most common signs/groups
of signs people produce when they cheat. I’ve listed 3 of them
below. Read over and think about each and carefully consider if they
apply to you, your partner and your relationship.
1. Changes in sex drive and sexual behaviour
Sex is almost always an integral part of a happy and healthy relationship
between two people. So when one of the two, regardless of whether it’s
the guy or the girl, begins to cheat, it doesn’t come as any surprise
that changes in the way they feel about having sex with their partner
can be brought about.
There are two main ways these changes can manifest themselves. When
the cheater initially begins their affair, they may – out of guilt
and in an effort to avoid the newly formed affair being rumbled –
actually increase the amount of attention they pay their real partners
Conversely, and usually a little while after the affair has begun,
the cheater may appear to have a loss of sex drive. They, for some reason,
seem to not want to be intimate with you as much as they used to. Once
again, this can be attributed to guilt, but more often it’s to
do with a fear they’ll reveal their infidelity through they way
they behave before, during and after having sex with you.
2. Peculiar changes in habits & schedule
When people cheat, they invariably change their behaviour and/or habits
in some way, small or large. The reason they cannot avoid these alterations
is because, no matter how infrequently or secretly they see the person
they’re having an affair with, they MUST – at some point
or another – go out of their way to do so (and thereby break or
change habits and behaviour).
So, look for recent and pronounced modifications in the times they
come home/leave the house (and whether the changed times ‘repeat’
weekly), increased usage of the phone or computer for no obvious/innocent
reason, and other differences in the way your partner acts and behaves.
You know your partner’s old habits and ways of living better
than anyone, so draw from that knowledge to compare how they might have
changed them and to decide if the changes are to be taken as possible
indications of betrayal.
3. Miscellaneous indicators of infidelity
Lastly, there’s the group of infidelity indicators that don’t
fit in any other box or under any other title. They’re the things
you notice, question and cannot innocently explain away.
They’re the things you spot but almost choose to forget because
you’re so unsure of what they may or may not mean and whether,
ultimately, they are true signs that your partner is cheating on you
with someone else. Here are just a couple of miscellaneous indications
A. Your partner no longer seems to get angry with you when in the past
they always seemed to be picking a fight or getting worked up over any
tiny issue. Cheaters often ‘let their partners off’ because
they want as little confrontation (which could lead to a discovery on
your part) as possible.
B. She or he frequently shifts the focus onto you. Cheaters often asks
their partners more questions about how their day went, how they’re
feeling, etc, again, to shift the attention away from them and their
Remember, when you suspect your partner may be cheating, always take
the smaller steps – by looking for the kinds of subtle signs listed
above – before taking the biggest step of all: confronting them.
Doing so will give you the very best chance of a happy, or at least
a more manageable, final outcome.