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8 Steps to Create, Heal, Improve and Transform Your Relationships


Forbidden First Date Discussions

By Connie Scholl

"It happened again --

I went out on a date with someone new and I thought we both

enjoyed the conversation and had a good time, but he never called me again!

This kind of rejection really hurts.

I am just about ready to give up dating altogether -it's just not worth pain".

Sound familiar?

While there are no hard and fast rules about what to discuss on a first date, there are some topics that are better-off avoided when meeting a potential partner for the first time. If previously interested suitors seem to keep `losing your number' after that initial date then you may want to consider steering clear of:

Bringing up other men

Don't talk about your ex-husband, your ex-boyfriend or even your best male friend "Mike" who's like a brother to you. Think about it. It's always a turn-off when men start telling you about the other woman in their life. Keep the romantic potential of the first date high by keeping other men out of the conversation -period.

`Heavy' Issues

Hello? This is a date --not a therapy session! Keep it light and save the intense conversations concerning medical problems, childhood traumas, and financial issues for your doctor, therapist, or financial advisor.

How Much You Hate Your Job

No matter how much your hate you job, don't go there. Keep in mind that men will always find an upbeat and positive attitude very attractive.

A Future Together

Sure it's great to talk about an exciting trip you have planned with your girlfriends or the new car you're thinking about buying, but leave the sly references to a shared future FOR the future! Bringing up future dates, sharing your preference for princess-cut over round, and what you'd like to name your first born are all sure-fire ways to have your date squirming in his chair, choking on his calamari and bolting for the door.

Politics and Religion

Sharing beliefs about a particular religion, or offering your view on the Bush Administration could land you in an unwanted heated discussion before you've finished your appetizer. Do yourself and your date a favor by shelving the `emotionally charged' topics for a future date.

Reminding Your Date How Wonderful You Are

Sometimes it pays to toot your own horn, but there's no need to blow it on a date! Every time you start selling yourself in a date situation, you become less appealing. Rather than seeking approval and trying too hard to impress, take advantage of the fact that men love a mysterious woman. It won't take long for him to figure out you're a great catch!

So What's Left to Talk About?

Keep your end of the conversation geared toward subjects that make you smile. Think pets, beloved travel destinations, favorite musicians, or your love of athletics or entertaining for example. And don't forget the best topic of all - HIM! Demonstrate your genuine interest in finding out about him and truly listening to what he has to say.

Final Pearls of Wisdom

Remember that all of the above topics are no-no's for first dates only. Eventually, if things go well, you just may find yourself in deep discussions about peace in the Middle East or his family history of heart disease. But for the first date, keeping things light, simple and fun is always the best way to get to date numbers 2, 3 and beyond!

© 2005, lifeline coaching


Connie Scholl is a personal coach and the chief operating officer of Lifeline Coaching. ( Connie helps professional and entrepreneurial women design their careers, strengthen their relationships, and successfully run their businesses. Prior to Lifeline Coaching, Connie founded Greenwich Muscular Therapy Center, INC with less than $1000, turned it into a money making machine, and then sold it for profit nine years later.


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