Can you imagine what it would be like to be one of those grapes? Really…play
along with me here for a moment.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be plucked, pushed, crushed,
pressed, skinned, and fermented? OUCH! The pain! What’s the point
of it all?
A lot of people feel that way about the pain they experience in their
marriage. “Why am I doing this? Where is this relationship going?”
But just as a grape goes through a difficult process before it becomes
a fine wine, sometimes our marriage has to go through a painful process
before it matures.
The people who have the best marriages are NOT people who grew up well-adjusted,
have healthy adult lives, and normal parents. People like that usually
have OKAY marriages.
The BEST marriages are with couples who were crushed, who went through
a painful process, and who built their relationship from the ruins of
There’s an ancient song by King David, “Those who sow in
tears will reap harvest in glad song.”
And so it is that pain is often the preview to pleasure. Any woman
who has experienced child birth can testify to this truth.
In my work doing marriage
coaching, I have noticed that very often the turning point in a
marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom. It’s not until they’ve
been through the worst that things start to get better.
But the turnaround in a marriage is NOT automatic. Just because you
hit bottom, does NOT mean you’ll bounce back. If you don’t
make it happen, you’ll just crash. In order to turn your marriage
around, you have to take RESPONSIBILITY.
What does it REALLY mean to be responsible? A person who is responsible
has the ABILITY to RESPOND. In other words, if you take response-ability
for your marriage, then your marriage is not determined solely by what
happens; it’s also determined by how you RESPOND to what happens.
A responsible person is not a victim to their circumstances. They are
the master of their fate. How you respond to your marital circumstances
today WILL determine your marital circumstances tomorrow. YOUR actions
create your marriage. You can turn sour grapes into a fine wine.
If you know how to do this, then do it now. If you need help, then
USE ME. I can help you. Years ago my marriage was hours from “done.”
I turned it around and I can show you how too. I’ve helped thousands
of marriages. Have you seen the miracle stories on my web site?
a relationship work is not mystical. Love is NOT a mystery. You don’t
have to be “lucky in love.” You can “make love.”
You just have to know the recipe.
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