How Guys Screw Up First Dates
By David DeAngelo
I get a lot of guys who write in to ask me for dating
advice on how to behave around women. Many of those questions focus on
the first meeting or the first date.
I thought I'd devote one entire newsletter to a concept that I feel is
VITAL to understand if you're wondering how to behave around a woman you've
A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES
I've noticed a KEY difference between the way men and women act when they
meet a "potential mate".
Women usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know you better, and we
can see where this goes."
Men usually act in a way that can be characterized like this:
"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In fact, I'm already thinking
of you as a potential girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night stand."
In other words, women are usually casual and laid-back when they're first
meeting a guy...
But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a POTENTIAL WIFE.
As you can imagine, this creates a lot of tension and pressure.
And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind, either.
I'm talking about the kind that makes men shiver and shake with nervousness,
and women feel uncomfortable because the MAN is acting uncomfortable.
I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.
The simple dating advice here is...
DON'T DO IT.
If you start acting all freakish and nervous when you're talking to a
woman, you're probably going to screw things up before they've even had
a chance to get started.
Treating a woman that you've just met as if she very well could be the
love of your life is something you should NEVER do.
Instead, take a very different approach.
My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has SOMETHING that's going to
annoy me, bother me, or SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.
The MAIN reason that I do this...
IS THAT IT'S TRUE!
The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible "long term" with most men.
In other words, there if you do get into a long-term relationship with
a particular woman, the chances are that she's going to have things about
her that you don't like.
One of my favorite Cocky & Funny themes to follow is "You're screwing
up your chances with me".
Let's say I'm walking down the street with a girl to have a cup of tea.
Let's assume that she and I just met the night before, I got her number,
and now we're walking from my place to tea.
On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she trips over the doorway.
I might look at her, shake my head in an "overly dramatic fake annoyed"
way, and say "This relationship just isn't going to work".
Then, let's say fifteen minutes later she spills her tea on the table
I'll shake my head again and say "What did I tell you about this kind
In other words, I'm communicating the very OPPOSITE of "You're a potential
wife". I'm saying "I'm so comfortable around you that I can even make
fun of you without caring what you think of me".
Does this sound a little crazy?
Good. It should.
But trust me.
If you spend a couple of hours having regular, normal conversation...
being Cocky & Funny, enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and
generally demonstrating that you could care less how things turn out,
you'll be FAR more likely to take things further than if you act as if
she might be the love of your life and you wind up acting so nervous,
stilted, and DUMB that she runs away.
So here it is your bit of dating advice... one thing that most guys who
are unsuccessful with women do that screws things up... one thing to AVOID:
DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE
Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about her screwing up her chances
with you. Tell her that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has qualities
that are going to annoy you, then point them out (in a Cocky & Funny way,
Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if you do.
Another bit of dating advice:
Most guys don't "get" women.
And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks and "pick up lines" when
it comes time to LEARN how to meet women.
They don't realize that all the tricks in the world aren't going to help
them if they don't UNDERSTAND what's "going on".
That's where my free dating advice newsletter comes in, along with my
eBook, "Double Your Dating"...
Dating Advice Newsletter And Download eBook
The first portion of the book is entirely
focused on your "Inner Game". In other words, it's focused on
helping you "get" what's going on.
This book goes into DEPTH about all aspects
of psychology and behavior of men and women... and teaches you from the
ground up. You must get rid of some of your bad programming before you can
get GOOD programming.
You will get pages and pages of me teaching
everything from the ground up on how to take things all the way from
beginning to end... from the first meeting through the first date... all
the way to the bedroom, and beyond.
You'll get dating advice on how to overcome
your limiting beliefs about women... how to eliminate your fears of
talking to women... how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you, even if you
don't have money or looks, etc.
In other words, it's a complete system.
You'll learn everything you need to know in
order to start meeting and dating more women IMMEDIATELY.
All the details, and some great free
samples are here... check it out:
I'll talk to you again soon.
Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.