DATING TIPS MAILBAG:
With Women, Not Being A Wussy, And Other Gems...
By David DeAngelo
Just wanted to drop you a line on how my personal story has been
going since I started doing things "your way". I
have checked every "girl strategy" out there, you know
the ones, and have to say that your system is the most simple,
and most effective one out there. Your system gives men
the start, and allows them to put their own personal touches
on it. Then, after some success, (and some failures,
of course, he he) we can come back and get even more out of it.
I'm 27, and have tried your way starting 2 years ago. It
took me a long time to get "it", but the journey has
been incredible. My friends can't believe the change in me, and
I am now helping friends who I once thought were so much better
than me. My relationships with women are so much more
fulfilling now than they ever were when I was just trying to
I think the one fundamental issue you push, which is so
overlooked, is the idea that a man can be absolutely honest,
know what he wants, and get it. There are no tricks here, this
is about being absolutely true to yourself. That is what
attracts women to us, our unfaltering honesty, even when we
are afraid that that honesty will push them away. The
exact opposite is true.
Buying dinner, flowers, kissing ass, all of that crap is, at its
core element, dishonest. Being cocky and funny, being true
to yourself, and acting like a man, is, at core element, totally
honest. I think women really appreciate that, and I
think it turns them on in a way that even they don't understand.
I am really starting to get this, and it gets better every day.
Please put out more products, we want them, and have no problem
paying a reasonable price for this information. My several
different girl "friends" each hotter than the
next, appreciate this as well. My life has never been so good.
Thanks for making it that way, I owe you way more than the price
of your products, of which I have purchased all. God
bless you man, you rock.
Yea, it really is amazing that there is a way to have success with
women... while still being an honest, straight-shooting guy.
A few more comments...
Yes, I know how frustrating it is to go searching for good information
on how to be more successful with women and dating... only to find
half-baked ideas from people who have no clue what they're doing.
And you're observation that buying women gifts, food, and flower is,
at its core, DISHONEST is pretty interesting, too.
Most of the guys who look at my stuff and say "I don't like your
ideas because I don't like to MANIPULATE women" will turn right
around and have no problem buying a woman dinner in hopes that she'll
sleep with them.
Well congrats on sticking with it and getting this part of your life
handled. It feels good, and I have a lot of respect for guys who take
the initiative to go DO SOMETHING.
Thanks for your email.
Here's one for the history books: David DeAngelo, the Man who
made Dating Scientific.
It's amazing how turned off women are by eager guys working hard
to impress, and how much they love the composed bad boys who
refuse to kiss ass. At a party I overheard a nearby conversation
where a guy was talking to a hot girl, basically kissing up
to her with the infinitely boring "yeah, I see what you
mean" and "I really identify with that" type
responses. I just sat there with a kind of crooked half-smile,
and in a minute the girl started talking to me. I used one of
your best rules, Never Give a Woman a Direct Answer Unless
it's No. Before long, this girl was telling me I acted
like a "stone cold psycho" who could "bury somebody
in a field somewhere and never think twice". Next thing I
know she's handing me her number. Now I have no interest at all
in killing people, but it cracks me up that this chick jokes
about me being a psycho and then wants to go out.
Hey, I never said that women make sense.
You know, several serial killers have all kinds of female
And have you ever noticed how when some crazy dude escapes from jail,
they always find him shackin' up with his old girlfriend?
Now, fortunately it's not necessary to be a serial killer or felon to
attract women (but it doesn't seem to hurt if you are).
Women DEFINITELY don't feel that powerful "Gut Level
Attraction" for "nice, sweet, needy guys".
ATTRACTION is a process that has developed over a LOOOOOOONG time.
It's not something that women think about and "work up to".
It's not something that women PLAN.
ATTRACTION happens for reasons all its own, and you can't CONVINCE a
woman to feel it.
You've obviously found success using these "illogical"
techniques that I teach. Good for you, and keep it up.
Hi I ordered your double dating series and read through it
After reading the material it struck me that this just isn't
related to attracting the opposite sex.. it relates to
"everything"....like my career, how other men respect
me, etc, etc..
Their is only one thing I really want first and that is self
respect, and after that have the guts to be tough, honest, funny
and take a chance..
I have been angry with woman for a long time (and I don't mean
in violent way) but more like afraid to go out with them, or
blaming them for not being interested in me....
Its been more like confusion about what do they want,, (and then I
don't understand) which ends up in anger,, and then the cycle
continues.... I want this war to stop with myself. (because its
me being angry with myself).
I listen to men's pain all the time…and its this confusion
(that men don't understand what woman want), and also poor self
esteem.. so they settle for less and end up being bossed around
and poorly treated.......
which ends up as men exploding
I want all men to have their
manhood back (and I mean in a good way) treat woman well and
bust them when they push our buttons..
I think I may start having some
Yea, I feel ya, dog.
Here's the scenario:
You're talking to your hot female
co-worker, and she starts talking about her abusive jerk boyfriend who
is constantly treating her poorly.
You sit and listen for an hour,
hoping that she'll realize what a great guy you are... and then
consider you instead of him.
At the end of the conversation,
she stands up, says "Thanks for being such a GREAT FRIEND",
and kisses you on the cheek.
A week later, she's crying
because her jerk BF is at it again.
It's not too hard to get mad at
women for this type of thing.
I've been there.
I've had girlfriends who
basically broke up with me or never got together with me in the first
place... and instead chose to be with guys who didn't treat them well.
But you're on the right track
Stop blaming women.
Instead, start learning how to
make them feel that powerful ATTRACTION for YOU.
Sure, it takes a little effort.
But I cannot imagine a greater investment in yourself and your
I'm looking forward to hearing a
Success Story from you very soon.
I have received your emails for
quite sometime now and never did buy the book but after this
weekend I have to get the whole nine yards. You have
said not to be needy and to treat the women like little sister
brats. Believe you me it works amazingly. I am
engaged to a 9 and lately things seemed to get a little boring.
My girlfriend started acting a little distant so I thought why
not. I didn't tell her I loved her as quickly and quit
going for a little kiss when the feeling took hold. In
other words I took two steps forward and one step back.
She looked at me kinda funny a couple of times and then just
jumped my bones right on the couch in the middle of the day when
we were expecting friends over for a bar-b-que. I kept
the cocky and funny up all night and through the rest of the
weekend. By Sunday night things were going just as hot as
when we first met. Your material kept a fire from dying
into ashes. Hope your printing doesn't run out before my
next payday. LOL.
J in Texas
Yea, you'd better get on it...
Even worse than not being able to
meet women in the first place is meeting an EXCEPTIONAL woman and then
LOSING her because you're a jackass.
You do her and yourself a favor,
and save your pennies for my ADVANCED SERIES.
Hell, she'll probably buy it for
you if you can't.
Even though I don't talk about
"relationships" very often, I will say that the REAL
challenge begins when you have one.
Keeping a relationship fresh,
fun, and interesting is quite a challenge... and you're not going to
do it if you turn into a Wussy as time goes on.
Good job, man. Keep it up.
***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***
Dear David: You sad,
misbegotten, hopeless fool. No wonder you have such
hideous luck with women.
With your philosophy, it's an
absolute guarantee that will continue.
Good luck with the sad,
misbegotten, hopeless women you are guaranteed to attract, and
that you doom your pathetic, clueless subscribers to attract.
Wow, your sad, hopeless,
misbegotten... and REDUNDANT email really put me in my place.
And what are you talking about
"hideous luck" with women? I date the smartest,
hottest, and most interesting women running around on the planet.
Get a life, and call up the
Redundancy Department Of Redundancy for some tips on how to not sound
like a dumbass.
DAMMIT! I just broke my own rule
again of not allowing any letters from people who prove beyond the
shadow of a doubt that they are a JACKASS within the first three
sentences of their email.
When will I ever learn?
Hi, I have a quick
question. I started playing bass because I thought women
liked musicians. that was six years ago. It's true, I do
get a lot of attention because of my skill at the instrument,
but I can't seem to hang on to a girlfriend. What are your views
on women and musicians?
I think you need the answer
to a DIFFERENT question.
The question that YOU need the
answer to is:
"What are my views on
women and WUSSIES?"
...because I'll bet you a dollar
that the problem is you turning INTO A WUSSY.
When a guy can't seem to hold on
to a woman, the problem is ALMOST ALWAYS one of the following:
1) He turns into a clingy, needy
Wuss at some point during the relationship.
2) He becomes PREDICTABLE and
BORING at some point during the relationship.
So stop doing those things.
And instead learn how to keep the
ATTRACTION building and growing.
It's possible, but you must LEARN
Stay tuned for more good info.
Oh, and stop committing the two
sins that I mentioned above in the meantime.
I've been reading your
emails for about two months now, and I love your stuff!
Very interesting and enlightening. But I have a conundrum
that brings up a good question.
I'm 32 years old, married for 10
years, three kids, suburban house, white picket fence, 3.2 pets
in the house, yadda yadda (The .2 pet is just a pitiful
thing, hobbling around on two legs ...) Kidding. Anyway, I read
in an earlier email that your ideas and methods work even in a
marriage relationship, and that you can still build attraction
even with someone you've been with forever. Now, if what I
am reading is correct, your core concept of attraction has to do
with mystery and anticipation, rather than chivalry and "niceness."
Now, this lady has seen me with my pants down around my ankles
with a fly swatter and a jar of peanut butter (figuratively
speaking); how can I build anticipation and mystery when she
knows me so well? If I try the three minute kiss test
thing, she gonna slap my hand and say "Stop playing with my
hair; I just had it colored! Go take out the garbage!
And stop playing with the peanut butter!" Any insight
would be a help!
D.C. Northern CA
"...a conundrum that
brings up a good question"?
She's gonna SLAP YOUR HAND?
And tell you to go take out the
Dude, you're in major trouble.
I've heard of men in your position waking up with a key part of
their anatomy missing.
It's not pretty.
From the sounds of it, you may
already be missing some of this aforementioned equipment.
I'll tell you what...
You have two basic choices:
1) Buy your wife some new pants
and yourself a new skirt, because it's obvious that this is what she's
2) Remove your high-heels, your
apron, and your WUSSY ATTITUDE, and HE-BITCH-MAN-SLAP yourself
Man, WAKE UP.
I know, I know... I don't like to
talk about marriage and relationships. Again, I just couldn't help
Look, Mystery and Anticipation
don't have anything to do with you walking around with your pants down
carrying a fly swatter and a jar of peanut butter.
It has to do with how you
communicate with her... how you touch her... how you kiss her... and
how you behave. You obviously need to learn this stuff.
And by they way, what the hell
are you doing walking around in front of your wife with your pants
down carrying, OF ALL THINGS, a fly swatter and PEANUT BUTTER?
Sounds to me like there's
something you're not sharing with us.
And I'm not going even speculate.
I just started the DVD
series, and I can't say enough good things about it. I can
already feel my confidence and self-image improving.
I realized something recently
that I'm sure you and a lot of other guys have encountered.
When I talk to my guy friends about girls I'm dating or interested
in, they tend to encourage and push me to action. When I
talk to my female friends about girls I'm dating or interested
in, they tend to say negative things about the girl and plant
doubts in my head. What do you think about that?
Even though there's no romantic interest between me and my
female friends, are they acting competitive on some subconscious
THE ANSWER IS YES.
If you think MEN are competitive,
just wait until you start dating more WOMEN.
You will not believe how
competitive women are.
A friend of mine pointed
something out to me a few years ago.
He said "You know when you
go out to a nice bar or club, and all the women are dressed up, have
their hair done, and their makeup perfect? Well they're not fixed up
like that for the men... it's for the other WOMEN."
Now, at first that made no sense
But the more I've paid close
attention, the more I realize that it's RIGHT ON.
Women are VERY competitive.
In fact, one of the best ways to
meet women is to GO OUT with a cute female friend (or more than one).
Women are always more interested
in a guy who already has women around him than a guy who doesn't.
This is one of the reasons why so
many married guys talk about how much more often they're approached by
women now that they're married...
Female psychology is VERY
You will learn a TON as you go
through my DVD program. It's going to blow your mind.
If you think you're feeling
confident now, just wait until you get further into it... and then go
out and try some of the things you're learning... and then come back
and watch it again.
That program is like a treasure
map, with all the clues you need to find the gold.
It has taken me YEARS to really
put all of the pieces together... from female behavior and psychology,
to ATTRACTION, to the things you need to do to change your self-image
and shyness around women into comfort and success.
Thanks for the comments. ...and
if you're reading this right now and you're thinking "Yea, that's
what I need... to get this part of my life handled", then guess
And if you'd prefer to save
yourself a few YEARS of trial and error (or more), and a lot of MONEY
and TIME, then I suggest you sign up for my free Dating Tips
Newsletter, and check out my eBook, "Double Your Dating".
It will definitely help you take
your success with women to a whole new level, whether you're just
starting out or you already have some success with women.
It comes with a 100% money-back
guarantee. If you don't meet more women, just send it back for a full
refund. No questions, no hassles.
And I mean it.
All the details, plus some great
audio and video samples are here:
Go here to sign up for my free newsletter and download your copy of my
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David DeAngelo is the
author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should
Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men
how to be more successful with women and dating.
2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo"
and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications